Hairdresser Drama

I've created a life where the luxeries have rarely happened, one of them being a good haircut and highlights. I'd hear the price and decide I couldn't afford it.

I've also tried to keep growing it, as my sons and the men in my life said they like it long. I do too - one day out of 5. So I saw a picture of my perfect style and immediately decided to have it done, regardless of what others thought.  And I decided it at a time when no more known money is coming in.

That same day, as I came into Sears, there was a notice posted on the door that the salon was having a half price sale on haircuts if you paid for a color. Immediately, I walked down to the salon, only to discover that ALL the services were half price. I booked my appointment.

Last night was the day.  No one else was in the salon and except my hairdresser.  I hope this didn't mean the same as an empty restaurant!  Then I discovered that it would be hard for her to concentrate as she was in deep grief over losing joint custody of her son. As she talked and did my hair, the tears were running down her cheeks. As I heard the all too familiar story of injustice, judicial kidnapping, parental alienation and lawyers who charged ridiculous rates, and yet still lost the case.....I felt the anger rise up for that horrible system and sadness for the little boy who begged his dad every night to see his Mommy. At three years of age, he was devising a plan that he told his Mom about, whereby he would be as disobedient as possible, so Dad would decide to give him back to his Mom. I was shocked. At one point, I looked up in the mirror in front of me to see my jaw hanging open.

Then I began to tell her what I knew and what she could do.....give up the fight for joint, and go for Parallel Parenting instead.  I also gave her a list of resources. All of a sudden I realized how amazing this creation was. She was alone, or this would not have happened, and she happened to be cutting the hair of the woman who, with no legal knowledge and no lawyer, had helped her partner win against all odds!

And then I remembered that I had scripted this sad tale to feel my "righteous indignation" for a system that doesn't even exist. At once, I felt grateful instead of angry and sad. This story was for ME to reclaim some more power from the system that was made so real during my last 3 years of court drama over the son of my ex partner.

I then knew that all was well and the story would have a happy ending because it was MY script, therefore, my story. The actress playing my hairdresser was so grateful in return, she said she would not charge me for the cut!  She began to brighten up.

Then I remember feeling anxiety that she would make a mess of my hair when it came time for the cut because she was so preoccupied. How ironic.  I finally book an appointment and I get a stylist who was a mess (her own words).  I remembered again that this was my movie and I relaxed and enjoyed my creation.

I walked out with the most perfect haircut and color! And I got to play Heroine to a lady and her little boy.

It doesn't get more interesting than that!

Stunning Note from The Universe

This note takes quite a few readings to really get what is being said, yet each reading gives me the same feeling....a rush of remembrance and a big "WOW".

The dream at night is just like the dream of here and now, Marilyn. You hide from yourself that you create it so that it can seem real, while you pretend not to be who you already are, so that you can finally get what you already have, for fun.

I say think of this often.

Unicorns and dolphins,
The Universe

...so that you can be who you already are, Marilyn, and get what you already have....

Yes thank you Expanded Self! I WILL think of this often.

Came Back From the Dead

I don't know why this is the day I saw and bought a book on a man's story of his death (90 minutes with no heart beat) and heard quite a few stories on You Tube of accident and heart attack victims who were dead for quite awhile before coming back to the maze.

Most of them are too long to include here, but common to all is the telling of the INSTANT change from one world to another. The moment the Spirit left their body was the very moment that they stood in another world. And quite a few of them heard the music!

What is nteresting to me is that I made mention of this in a recent blog about how this "heavenly" music was not of this earth as it had no time. So today, as I was reading the end of the chapter, I saw the words: "And then I heard the music."

Instantly I was crying. I felt sad, and I had a feeling of remembering. Sad because I missed the music (that I can't remember) and joy because when I leave this holodeck, I will hear it again.

The games here fascinate me and now that I know they are games, I plan to stay and play for a long time. Around the 120 year mark, I'll decide if I want to leave for awhile, and then come back to play again.

I just have to find a way to hear that music so I don't get too homesick!

Body Games

I haven't played the Body Game in a long time. I gave years of my life to playing this game - first with a change in diet to all natural foods, then to chiropractic, then to study under a naturopath, then energy work and nutraceuticals. I got lost in the game, and after awhile, noticed that what should have worked for everyone did not. Why? I had to find out. It began a search that led to elsewhere for answers, and ultimately, ending the game.

I've had a few friends give me some forgotten and missing pieces to the Body Game this past week and that, together with my few months back in the health business in B.C., has gotten me interested again.

First, my friend Darlene noticed my blogs about sleeping fingers and panic attacks and suggested her chiropractor. Then she and her husband gifted me with a few treatments. At my first appointment, I heard things that I had forgotten and I felt a "remembering" feeling run through my body. While I waited for the tests,I knew I was going to hear stuff that would be amazing and sound like The Truth, and I might be tempted to get lost in the game again. So as I sat, I said out loud, "This is for fun. It is not real. You will not fall asleep in these body games. STAY AWAKE!

Next, my friend Loralee came over and shared her missing puzzle pieces. She has even begun a blog to educate on what happens when the Pudendal nerve gets damaged. As she spoke, I had another message run through my body....this one a "AHA...I found you". She may have given me the link to some sexual issues I have had and some answers for my youngest son who was my only non natural birth.

Then as I helped my friend Matt in New York tonight with some of his health issues, he happened to tell a story that sent out a double wave of remembrance....one is for my Mom and the other for me. By helping him, I tapped into his vein of gold.

I'm getting interested in The Game again, but this time I want to play with awareness. It's only a game and this time, I want to have fun playing!

So Much Magnificence Mp3

I received an email from my friend Loralee who was the one who shared the song So Much Magnificence with me. She said I could add a widget to my blog that would play the song (instead of the video) and then she sent me the link. It made me realize how much I miss working with her and how much I miss and appreciate her knowledge.

Even then, I had trouble getting the thing to play. The "juke box" widget appeared with the song loaded, but when I pressed, "play" it did nothing. If I pressed the writing underneath, then the song began to play, but then it also took me to another website. In the past, this kind of stuff would cause my hair to sizzle because I would get so frustrated.

As I remembered that this little widget was all virtual - not real at all, I decided to smile, reclaim power and wait for another day. Today, I loaded the widget exactly the same as I did yesterday, and this time, it played.

Thanks Loralee! Here is the song....JUST the song:

1.So much magnific...

Exodus to the Virtual World

In one of my posts, there was mention of the vast amount of users who live in a virtual world for a variety of online adventures and that this trend is growing from games to online simulations of real life.

Well I just read a fascinating article called Exodus to the Virtual World. Since it was in PDF format, I couldn't copy it, but I'll include the link for you to read the first chapter called, Dreams Fashioned in Silicone are Here. Underneath is the subtitle: The Holodeck is Here! I just added the book to the book carousel at the top.

Find out what people are doing in these online holodecks.

http://books.google.ca/books?id=mK_Qq-hsKNEC&pg=PT27&lpg=PT27&dq=holodeck+theory&source=bl&ots=Qzf9DWP8cf&sig=-6t0wuKubqNNIPjibQdRvilaAzU&hl=en&ei=7TW5TKa5H8POnAeSlb28DQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CCcQ6AEwBg#

Three's Again

Before bed last night, I opened three emails from three friends and was quite shocked to discover that each had created some kind of emergency situation.

First letter was about a potential break in of the house of my friend who had recently had a security system put in place. What is interesting is that it was the fact that the alarm was activated that made the situation very scary as she didn't know what she would find.

The second was a potentially sserious diagnosis for the young son of a my friend. He had to be taken into hospital and will be there five days while they do more testing.

The third was a potential food poisoning for another son of my friend. She spent harrowing hours by his side in emergency, brought him home as he could not sit any longer as they made him wait a ridiculous amount of time, only to be advised that he needed to be taken in by ambulance.

All three play the Human Game with me. All three felt spine tingling fear. Why each of them created these scenes, they or I may never know, however, I've already heard back that one son is out of danger, and the other son is getting a needed test two weeks earlier than planned. I'm sure my other friend will find some power hidden as well, and begin to feel some relief.

It was such a surprise that all three would create drama on the same day, which means that ultimataley, I created all three to tell me on the same day. So why did I create that? I may never know, but I have one clue.

I used to say and believe that everything happened in threes. So when two "negative" things happened, I thought, "Oh no, what next?"

So this aterted me to another belief that is awaiting the Truth that there is no "out there" out there. There is no power outside of myself, only my story about it.

I will follow this belief and reclaim power from it so it can go "poof", I won't do that for my friends though, even though all that shows up in my hologram is illusion. I don't want them to go "poof"! They bring so much joy and delight.

I want them in my hologram for a very long time.

Rescued!

Not only was it my daughter's birthday today, but it was also the day 33 Chilean men were rescued from their dark prison. They have survived longer underground than anyone in recorded history.

I watched with joy and tears as the miners were brought above ground and reunited with their families. I felt the drama of their separation from their loved ones as if it were my own. Today, as the whole world watched, we became like one big family.

I am in this hologram to FEEL all the emotions, and today, I felt how close grief and joy really are. I could weep with joy because I've wept with grief. I came here to feel it all, and hide my divinity in that darkness.

I have a feeling, that the men underground found their divinity in the darkness as each took inventory of their lives. Their lives will be different from this day on.

A happy ending. I love happy endings.

Here is the first rescue:



And the last - the foreman of them all:

My Thanksgiving Baby

30 years ago today, my angel daughter chose me as her mother and chose Thanksgiving Day to come into my world. Her father and I had a name chosen for her, but while he was on his way to make the phone calls, the name, "Teresa" came to him and he rushed back to my room and asked me what I thought of the name.

I asked to see the book of names that we had brought along, and amazingly to me, her name meant, "Harvester". A tingle of recognition went throuigh me. My little angel had also chosen her name.....even the spelling.

At the time, we were in a French community, and the first name we had chosen but didn't use, was a French name. The French spelling of her name is "Theresa", but for some reason, we wrote, "Teresa" on the birth document.

When she was old enough, she often commented on how much she loved the symmetry of her name and how perfect the spelling was. All I know is that she has brought symmetry (harmonic arrangement) to my life. Her inner and outer beauty inspires me and her loving heart delights me.

This past year, Teresa has been a leading actress in my movie by being involved in the Human Game with me. What a delight to compare stories, remind each other to reclaim power from our pain, and appreciate the genius of the Game and our experiece.

Daughter, Friend, Angel and Light....all names for Teresa Rae. Thank you for showing up and playing in this grand adventure with me.

Day of Drama

Wow, it came in three's today. Personal drama surrounded me. First, it was my own feelings of insecurity that were triggered and had to get up the courage to talk about them with the man in my life. I could have processed the feelings BEFORE, but then I would never have talked to him about it!!! So I processed after, and man was it awesome to remember that I scripted the scene perfectly, and now, he could give me the perfect lines. An hour later, I got a call, and he read out the perfect script! It was really fun.

Then my parents were in drama. After not being able to get ahold of anyone who was close enough to help, I relaxed and did the process. Then I thought of the neighbor and I happened to have and find his phone number. In the morning, I was able to hear from the first person I called and he immediately sprung into action. He called a little bit ago to tell me that he had gone over, helped out and would check up on them again. I felt so grateful.

Then tonight, a little drama with my darling granddaughter who is missing her Mom. Somehow it just hit her that Mommy doesn't live in her suite in the same building anymore, even though it was talked over with her often. As she sobbed, she said, "Yes, you told me, but that was yesterday. Isn't she back yet?" I heard her from my room and I broke down in tears. So did her Daddy. He made an S.O.S. call to Mommy and after a few minutes, Olivia was smiling again and was able to fall off to sleep. Another emergency averted.

In between all that, another friend of mine is going through multiple dramas all at once. I got to read some of her writings and wow - it is an amazing story in the making...a best seller for sure.

I had just been with my dear friend Darlene whose whole life is one big drama of never ending physical pain and her courage to keep telling the truth about it all. We shared how, that now we know all is illusions, that not much looks different in our lives, but life FEELS completely different. My daughter said it well: "It is a simple and easy way to live life."

One funny thing happened a moment ago. My man said he would call me at 9:00 and at 9:00 sharp the phone rang and after he greeted me, he said he might have to go real quick, and I heard a loud sizzle. I guessed that he was in the middle of a thunder storm, and sure enough, he was. He said it was right over head and he would have to get off the line and then I heard a loud "crack"! I could almost feel it come through the phone.

So my day ended with another storm!
Perhaps tomorrow will be a boring, peaceful day!

Happy Thanksgiving

My friend Loralee introduced me to the amazing song, So Much Magnificance and I wanted to include it here yesterday in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, but I couldn't remember the words to even locate it.

I wrote my friend to ask her the title, and she wrote back this morning. As I opened the letter, the whole song popped in before the letter did!

Here is the song that always had the power to take me in to my Inner world of peace and gratitude. I feel so much appreciation when I hear this and that's ultimately what will help bust me loose from the seriousness of the world of illusions I have created.

I always knew I was in that world, but not of it. As I remember what I am OF, I awaken to more and more bliss of my being able to be here and experience it all. (especially the scenes in my movie that have been by the ocean)!

By the way, someone put in words while this song is playing and I could not find one that did not have it. While the words are nice and some of them are true, they distract me from the pure simplicity of this song....so just close your eyes and listen...

10th day, 10th month, 10th year!

Tomorrow is 10-10-10, considered lucky not just because this is a rare occurrence on the calendar, but because the number 10 means, "increase". (It is the amount set as a "tithe" to a church or the amount considered magical for investing.)

By my calculations, this date will not appear again until October 10, 3010....another thousand years!

I used to wait for magical days, and days that lined up just right to do certain things. All days are magical now that I'm waking up to the illusions I created. The difference now is that I love playing the game of numbers.

But this 10th month has even more magic to it: Here is some info that was emailed to me:

This October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays, all in 1 month. It happens once in 823 years. These are considered money bags months. Based on Chinese fengshui.

This morning on the news I heard of the rush for couples to book a minister for a 10-10-10 wedding date. (for those who just realized this was happening) for it is considered extremely lucky and prosperous.

I think that is one of the reasons I decided to be an Irish character in this movie of mine, so I could feel lucky every single day!

Different Person 2-4 Times a Year!

This is an interesting article I got today for two reasons: first is the great info about my brain and my creativity, and second is the reminder I got when I read: "make sure you are finishing small projects like blogs".

I stopped reading as I knew I had missed yesterday, and I posted the blog on "Missing Days". I did it because I am a serial starter of projects and I want to be a finisher too.  And in reading this article, I now understand why. I know this article does not contain The Truth. I know that I prescripted an actor to write this article and send it to me that would help me solve some brain puzzles and get me to keep moving in my writing game! It worked!

Here is the article with my notes in blue:

I know many writers with great projects that they start and get bored with - or run out of time to progress - and then a year or so later start another project where the same thing happens.

It's natural. You brain is a marvelous instrument, capable of limitless creativity, but just like a child, it gets bored with the same old thing and will want to move on.  (I as God got bored with pefection and so I came to the holodeck to experience all these puzzles to solve).

That's why you have to work quickly - or push through the blocks - to get a project finished before you get bored of it.

Many writers assume that it's their perfectionism that makes them work on a project over and over, taking years to feel some sort of satisfaction over the finished product. But this is to misunderstand how the mind works.

Basically, every three to six months, your brain has changed physiology. So in effect you're a different person two to four times a year.  Take too long over a project and you're merely handing it over to a newer you each time - and each time you'll review the ideas, or their execution, find them wanting, and most likely feel the need to start over again.  (This is fascinating and answers so many questions).

This is why you must finish at least the first draft quickly. Get it all down before the excitement inevitably wears off. This is the real "secret" to success.

It doesn't matter whether a particular project is perfect or not. Finishing it is what counts. Only then can you know whether it works. Only then do you feel you are capable of other, larger and more complex commitments. (Having a direct experience of the Truth).

When I mentor writers, I like to make sure they're used to finishing small projects. Articles, short stories, even blogs.  (The point where I stopped reading and finished my post for yesterday  ;-)

It's not the work that's hard - it's the mentality that's wrong. The mindset wasn't pre-programmed for completion.  (Now I know how to change the program....that was easy!)

I think this is the real problem with the 9 to 5 mentality. There's a very real sense that work is never really over - and that there's always going to be more time.  (Haha, one good excuse I can use to not have an ordinary job)!

When you're an artist, especially a working artist, this paradigm no longer applies.  (I'm finding lots of rules get rewritten now that I'm waking up - and in fact, there were never any set rules to life).

If you want to be a paid writer, you need to get used to finishing what you start. Good or bad - you'll never know unless you can hold it up and say: "It's done."  (I got to have a direct experience of this when I finished my mini book by the day of submission)!

And don't forget to send your stuff out into the world. That's where it will really begin to take effect.  Keep Writing!  (I've been sending my blog posts out into the world everyday now for over 8 months.  I have just under 3 months to complete my commitment.  Doing this set the stage for my mini book and now my novel.   I'm on the verge of a life long dream to make money doing what I LOVE)!

And now I'm more inspired than ever to get a quick draft of my novel done. I want to keep pace with my characters who are "speaking" to me. If I wait too long to write their story, they too will have changed and will be on different adventures!

Missing Days

I often miss whole days out of my life and that happened again yesterday. I had made a post in the morning before instead of the late evening, and that mixed me up. Also, yesterday was no school and my son came home early. A few times I thought it was the weekend. I was already missing two days of the week!

Nothing makes this earth holodeck feel more real than time and space. When I was young, I learned from the Bible that God dwelt in the place of no time and that heaven was not governed by time. My finite mind could not even grab HOW it worked, but I accepted it as fact.

Over the years, I read true stories of different people who had died and came back, had near death experiences, or went into trances and saw visions of the other world. All told of a place so wonderful, so full of color, music that had never been heard, family waiting, love and bliss galore. Those who heard the music reported something very strange.

It was music that made every part of their being feel bliss and they thought they would never forget. Yet, when they came back to this earth plane, they could not sing one note of the song. They realized it was because the music did not follow the same rules as here - there was no time, no beat, no rhythms, and the brain had no program to decipher and reproduce it.

We gave ourselves the illusion of time in this game so we could have a past, present and future. A past story, a present to Be and a future to plan for. I've heard that a thousand years is as a day, (comparing "time" on the two planes) so the challenge was to make the earth game appear quite long. (Shown in the movie, Inception.)

Space is companion's time that help us feel the time between the past, present and future and which allows us to feel separate from God, the Universe, and all others, so that we could know ourselves as opposite of who we really are.

It's all so fascinating to me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the genius of this holodeck and the adventures that I've had in the past and the chance to wake up more today and the games I will play tomorrow!

When I "miss" days nows, I remember that there really is no time at all!

You do the Math

My bank statement said I had $102.37 on Oct. 5th, then I made a payment for my cell phone today. My statement shows the $47.25 transaction and the new total of $55. 12, but then it shows the balance: it is still $102.37!

I think I'll express more appreciation for bills today!

Oct 4, 2010 PR HUGHES PETROLEU $19.66 $187.34
Oct 4, 2010 PR DOLLARAMA #473 $12.41 $174.93
Oct 4, 2010 PR OPTIMUM HEALTH $31.47 $143.46
Oct 4, 2010 PR OPTIMUM HEALTH $28.64 $114.82
Oct 5, 2010 PR WAL-MART #3028 $12.45 $102.37
Oct 6, 2010 OL VIRGIN MOBILE $47.25 $55.12

Balance $102.37

A funny little glitch also happened when I tried to copy my statement to put on here. It wouldn't work. So I downloaded a free screen capture software program, took a picture of it, and saved it to my files. Then I copied the PDF picture to Blogger. It wouldn't work either. Back and forth I went, and finally, I tried a straight copy again from my bank statement. When I went to paste it, voila....it appeared! So weird.

End of Another Job

Sunday was a day of surprises. After wondering for 5 weeks whether I would be able to keep my cleaning contract when the new management team took over, I discovered that the new manager's husband is retired and will take over all the cleaning and maintenance.

Also, they have teams of cleaners who carry their own compensation and insurance and are fully bonded, so that team will be doing all the cleaning of suites. So I lost two jobs in one day! (And I still have not been paid for last month)!

Yet amazingly, I was not shocked when I heard the news, nor was I upset that I didn't find out sooner. A week ago I felt pressure and fear for my future, but a bit of processing reminded me that I had some power to reclaim. I did, and by the time I got the news on Sunday, I actually felt relief! I haven't figured out yet what that feeling is about.

I have a few ideas of what I can do, and one that I would LOVE to do. I LOVE to write. Each morning that I write, I feel pure joy. I began my novel a few days ago....the one that has been locked away in a file in my mind and part of it on my computer for over 5 years and wow, what fun. I have to pull myself away. Can I turn this writing into a book fast enough and have it published and make some cash? It is a possibility.

I feel no pressure to make something happen. I know for sure that this job was not my financial source. I AM! I Am abundance.

I'll let you know what pops in!

You Are Out of Your Mind

Wow, I had a dream last night about the subject of this post, which has been saved in my drafts. As I opened this post up to add the new content, I realized that the new content was illusion - made up in my dream world.

I see all of life that way now. The difference is that we can awaken EVERY morning from a dream and remember that we were just dreaming. However, the earth holodeck is not designed that way. It was layered with incredible detail and many years of time before awakening so that we could actually believe it is real. It is such a genius plan. And the more we hear of economic downturns and seem to experience them....the more we feel the heartbreak of divorce or see our loved ones experiencing it.....well that cements the realness of it all. It takes a lot of courage to shake up the sleeping giant, because at first, enough actors in your play will tell you that you "You are out of your mind"! (usually called insanity)

When I was in school, I was told there were 9 planets in our solar system. When my children were at the end of their high school education, astronomers had discovered another one. Before long, I heard of an 11th and 12th planet. Now there is a brand new "earthlike" planet that is quite close (so close we could soon travel to it, but not seen until now???) and in another video clip, I heard about 32 new planets that have been discovered.

Now that I'm catching on to how elaborate God and I made my holographic play place, I expect to hear of many more planetary discoveries. And not just planets. Last night we were watching the Planet Earth DVD series, and I heard, "Each time divers go down, they discover one or more new species of fish that have never been seen before."

In reality, none of them exist at all - only when observed do they appear "out of your mind". Isn't it ironic that it just may be the exact opposite....that they only exist IN your mind?

Dragonfly Illusion

My friend sent this article about a woman who finds a dragonfly trapped in her bamboo screen. She notied that all it had to do was fly to either side where the screen was open, but it wouldn't. Even after assisting it, the dragonfly remained trapped. She says:

Still, fascinated and saddened by the dragonfly's plight, and knowing the dragonfly represents illusion, I thought about the millions of us, whether for moments, days, months or years, that keep ourselves trapped and suffering in illusion when there is always a doorway out, positioned right next to the illusion that we are in. We just look in the wrong direction, or don't look at all, believing the illusion is reality, and there we stay, stuck, trapped, suffering, and developing yet another erroneous belief about ourselves.

As I continued to read, I was fascinated with the reply that she got from her Expanded Self:

The dragonfly has agreed to put on a play for you. You have been
focused on finding the doorway(s) out of illusion for weeks now, running up against it a bit too often for your taste, and look what you have been presented with. In Truth, the dragonfly isn't even there. It's a projection of your mind, made seemingly real.

What you are watching is an illusion, created by your mind, so you could have an experience of seeing what illusion looks like in a physical manner, along with an obvious viewing of how close the way out of the illusion is.

Did you know that everything, except love, is an illusion? That's a key for you, and ought to simplify things. True love, the love born of a God Consciousness, having no agenda, and unattached to the mind, is the only reality that exists.

So what does that tell you? Keep your mind out of everything but love, and experience true reality. Your mind is like a pushcart that you steer. Through your mind you are either pushing the ongoing movement of illusion, or you are pushing love. Consider that Truth, and ask yourself what do you wish to push into your reality, more illusion, or the One Truth?

Some reading this may be thinking thoughts that seem very real to them. My body is sick and that's not an illusion, it's the truth, or my finances are drying up and that's not an illusion. I can't find a job, or a loving relationship or balance or peace, and that's the truth.

I tell you that it is all an illusion.

None of that is true, in the higher stream of your consciousness, which is My Consciousness, in you.  That you are thinking through a lower stream of your consciousness makes each of your perceptions, both your truth, and your reality. And, you will continue to experience each as truth and reality until you make the only shift that matters... into a higher stream of your consciousness where your entire perception changes, about everything, as do your circumstances. That is My Law and My Promise.
Whatever you are experiencing right now you chose to produce in your life as an experience, not a reality, to carve a path to your Higher Authentic Self. When you hold on to an experience after its expiration, you have created a distortion known as illusion, and the energy of the experience continues to 'form' around you, solidifying itself, often staying for years, if not your entire life, making it seem like reality.

Once you realize this, and separate yourself from the illusion, through a higher stream of your consciousness, it will disappear like the mirage of a river in the middle of a desert.

This is an important teaching in Mastery. This is where the play of Maya stops for you, as you step up into God Consciousness where all of your ideas and concepts are reorganized and transformed, and your struggling and suffering cease.

Would you like another secret to Mastery? Reject nothing. If you reject something you will have to accept something else and if you accept something else, you'll have to reject something. What you reject is an illusion and what you accept is an illusion. Let everything be as it is. Even love is not something to accept. It is a tranquil state of being.

This is another doorway out of the illusion. Remember the doorway out is as close to you as the belief that there is no way out.

Let Me alert you to something that occurs when illusions become exposed, so you are not blindsided.

All demons will consolidate and attack; meaning that all of your lower nature, lower mind and ego will turn up the heat, in an attempt to keep you trapped in illusion. It will use fear as a weapon, so pay attention to the signs. This is where millions, if not civilizations, throughout your history have fallen between the cracks. Don't allow it to happen to you, again. Find the doorway out of the illusion, and all attempts to keep you trapped will fail.

You are not the trapped dragonfly regardless of any of your circumstances. Look for the doorway out; it is within your Higher Mind, your higher stream of consciousness. Look for it.
Each one of you must agree to be complete with illusion if you are to experience Ascension and the completion of your personal inoperative systems. Remember that each time you are in struggle or conflict of any kind, you are in an illusion and you are standing very close to the doorway out.

Stay quiet in your mind, and approach the doorway. It will open, if you believe it, and you will be free.

A New Adventure

So what is happening in my life to make me want to fall back asleep?

A MAN! Something happens when a man arrives on the scene. In the past, I lost whole chunks of myself. Old fears of inadequacy would surface and all my plans for me would go out the window as I focused on the man in my life. I made HIM the centre of my universe, instead of myself.

I'm thrilled that, for the first time, none of the above is happening. I've been able to stay detached from outcomes and be myself. Fears are bound to surface sometime, but the few I've felt, I've been able to voice right away.

But since this is my greatest area of past pain, it is the one place that I've hidden a lot of my power, so I'm very thankful for my hand and arm falling asleep. as it gave me a heads up to stay very alert and awake during this one.

I forgot to mention, that the fingers of my left hand fell so deeply asleep, that I could not feel where they ended. I got a brief feeling of what Jill Bolte Taylor experienced with her body feeling fluid. (As I think of it now, it could also mean that the temptation is to lose touch with myself)!!!

It will be very interesting to see what happens next. Have I pulled enough power from this gigantic egg of mine to be able to play and have fun, or will I plunge into some drama again? The drama isn't wrong - it's just that I get lost in the character role instead of remembering who I really am.

But I'm quite confident that it won't happen this time. I've surrounded myself with Phase 2 actors in my hologram who are sure to remind me. Plus old pain will surely get triggered and send off a loud signal. I can't imagine staying asleep through that!

A new adventure awaits......

Two of us in the Same Body?

Last night I began my writing, and almost fell asleep, so I decided to wait until this morning. Interesting, I awoke a few times with my left hand completely asleep.

In the morning, it was STILL asleep, and went so deep that I had to shake it and my whole arm for about an hour. As I felt deep burning and ran to get cold water on my hands, I remembered to tell the Truth about this - that it was illusion.

When I got to the part about why I had created it, I thought with amazement, "Why, it was because I had fallen asleep in the matrix, and now this very disturbance is to remind me to wake up! I was fascinated. My thought immediately was, "What is happening in my life to make me fall back into such a deep sleep?" And then I knew.

I will tell you about that revelation in another post, because I found such a fabulous article in my research that I have to print most of it here.

Oh, and by the way, the moment I began to remember, my left hand "woke up"!

Bicameral Images reveal our two selves. (bicameral (bi-kam-ê-ral) adj. having two legislative chambers.)

Okay, I didn't make up the term. The term was coined by psychologist Julian Jaynes, who presented the idea in his 1976 book The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. But it fits so well in describing an extremely interesting phenomenon that many people may not realize -- each of us is really two people. No, I don't mean in the traditional sense of having an alter-ego, or a good and bad side. Nor do I mean that we are all schizoids. I mean we are literally two thinking beings residing in the same body.

Early hominids had one mind. It was what psychologists call a "reactive" mind. It only exhibited what we would consider higher thought processes when it was presented with a problem. It didn't plan for the future or imagine how to improve things like a dwelling, a tool or escaping a predator. It only reacted to situations that happened in the "here and now." But, according to Janes, a sudden improvement happened when the human brain decided to double its efforts in thought processing. Now, although you and I have one brain, each half of it has the ability to act independently at the same time.

Follow along on this adventure. I won't disappoint either of you!
About ten years ago, I saw an interesting exercise in which a college psychology professor had taken photographs of her students, made copies that were flipped left to right, and then had them cut in half vertically. She reassembled the images using the two similar sides of the face.

The composite pictures were humorous. Although the individuals were easily recognizable, their facial expressions seemed to express exaggerated emotions, like anger, suspicion, or happiness -- and occasionally a look of total blankness. Even more interesting was the observation that the two sides of the same face were often so different. Why?

This exercise seemed to suggest that, while a handful of people have symmetrical faces, a vast majority of us do not. Also it raised the possibility that each side of our face could express different emotions at the same time! Subsequent research into facial expressions and the workings of the human brain has offered an interesting theory that not only explains this left and right difference in facial expressions, but could help us to understand our "other self."

First, some science.
We'll keep this light and uncomplicated. Our brain, like the rest of our anatomy, is made up of two halves, a left brain a right brain. There's a big fold that goes from front to back in our brain, essentially dividing it into two distinct and separate parts. Well, almost separate. They are connected to each other by a thick cable of nerves at the base of each brain. This sole link between the two giant processors is called the corpus collosum. Think of it as an Ethernet cable or network connection between two incredibly fast and immensely powerful computer processors, each running different programs from the same input.

The left side of our body is "wired" to the right side of our brain, and vice versa. For whatever reason nature did this cross-over, it applies even to our eyes, which process a majority of their sensory data on opposite sides of the brain.

We can thank Nobel Prize Winner (1981) Roger Sperry for this next contribution. Sperry conducted what are sometimes called the "split-brain" experiments. Here's how it went: A patient suffering from uncontrolled seizures had an area of his brain removed by surgery in an attempt to control his illness. This area just happened to be the corpus collosum, which was suspected of having developed lesions (short circuits).

Following his surgery, Sperry's patient seemed completely normal -- almost. A series of tests were conducted where each "half" of the patient was isolated from the other. Different visual and tactile information could then be presented to the patient's left or right side, without the other side knowing. The results were astounding.

With their communications link severed, each side of the patient's brain was functioning independently. Although this did not prevent his ability to walk, talk and eat, some unexpected findings were encountered in some of the higher brain functions when each side was examined independently of the other.

The right hand and eye could name an object, such as a pencil, but the patient could not explain what it was used for. When shown to the left hand and eye, the patient could explain and demonstrate its use, but could not name it. Further studies showed that various functions of thought are physically separated and localized to a specific area on either the left or right side of the human brain. This functional map is consistent for an estimated 70 to 95 percent of us.

The main theme to emerge... is that there appear to be two modes of thinking, verbal and nonverbal, represented rather separately in left and right hemispheres respectively and that our education system, as well as science in general, tends to neglect the nonverbal form of intellect. What it comes down to is that modern society discriminates against the right hemisphere.  -Roger Sperry (1973)

Upon completing the map, it was becoming clear to researchers that each side of the brain had a characteristic way that it both interpreted the world and reacted to it. The chart below will help illustrate the characteristics which are known to reside on each side of our brains.

Our personality can be thought of as a result of the degree to which these left and right brains interact, or, in some cases, do not interact. It is a simplification to identify "left brain" types who are very analytical and orderly. We likewise certainly know of the artistic, unpredictability and creativity of "right brain" types. But each of us draws upon specific sides of our brain for a variety of daily functions, depending on such things as our age, education and life experiences. The choices of which brain is in control of which situations is what forges our personalities and determines our character.


Experiments show that most children rank highly creative (right brain) before entering school. Because our educational systems place a higher value on left brain skills such as mathematics, logic and language than it does on drawing or using our imagination, only ten percent of these same children will rank highly creative by age 7. By the time we are adults, high creativity remains in only 2 percent of the population.

The War of the Brains


The two brains not only see the world in vastly different ways but, in our current society, the left side just "doesn't get" what the right side is all about. It tends to dismiss anything significant coming into consciousness from its "flaky" cranial twin. Sometimes two sides can actually disagree, resulting in our perception of emotional turmoil from the expressive protests of right brain.


Our conscious mind can only focus on data from one brain at a time. We can switch from one side to the other very quickly (with our corpus collosum intact) but that's not always the most efficient way to act and eventually ultimate authority to enter consciousness is delegated to one brain or the other. In our modern world, this battle is almost always won by the left brain.


It appears that most people will never reach their maximum potential because of compromises that have been made between these two governing bodies. Sometimes skills which the right brain can perform better are routinely handled, with less skill, by the left brain. Ideally, both brains work together in people with optimum mental ability. This coordinating ability may be the key to superior intellectual abilities. In most people, however, the left brain takes control, choosing logic, reasoning and details over imagination, holistic thinking and artistic talent.


Methods have been devised to "shut off" the left brain, allowing the right side to have its say. Creative writing courses often use this method to combat "writer's block." The logical left side is easily bored by lack of input and tends to "doze off" during such activities as meditation (repeating a mantra or word over and over) or in sensory deprivation environments. The right brain is then able to "sneak" into our consciousness, filling our minds with emotional and visual vignettes and freely associated images. All too quickly, though, the left brain will assert itself and dispense with these irrational images, asserting its Spock-like logical dominance and the right brain will have to be content to find expression in dreams.

See the whole article (which shows the chart and the pictures of the two sides of our face) at: http://viewzone2.com/bicamx.html

Several Moonbeams Long

Here's the note I got from the Universe today:

Would you believe, Marilyn, that here, in the unseen, just a breath away from "there," in time and space, we have gardens with such sweet fragrances they actually caress passersby? That we have melodies so rich you can actually see them dancing through the air? And colors so exquisite they tickle all of your senses?

That there are planets where everyone knows each other's names? Where flying comes naturally to all? And some have moons that hum lullabies each night?

Yet as spectacular as the infinite choices are, would you further believe that there's still quite a queue, several moonbeams long, to get back "there"? Where for every heart beating, there's a legend in the making.

You have no idea.

"NEXT!"
The Universe

P.S. Or do you, Marilyn?

Now I've heard of this concept of people lining up in Paradise to come back here for another chance to be here on the earth. But I never understood it.....until March of 2009.

Now it makes so much sense. Back in our natural state where there is no opposites: no dark and light, no victims or villains or heros either, no fear or failure, but no love or success either......simply the Allness of All there is ALL the time.....

It would sure be fun to enter the earth simulation for another day or so (100 earth years) and play another character role and a whole new adventure with the risks, the pain and the exhilerating triumphs.

Oh yes....I'm so glad I got in that moonbeams long line!

Google Holodeck

Gosh, Google built this toy to replicate the feeling of seeing the world from above. It is really fantastic - yet it is still an experience of being "the observer" rather than being fully immersed in the experience.

However, I can see the day when you zoom in, pick a place, let's say a house, then pop yourself right in one of the rooms and become the character right IN the movie, instead of just watching.

Which is possibly what we are all doing right now!

Video: One Big Super Hologram

Here is an interesting short video by a guy who believes the matrix exists and that it is one big super hologram. Interesting that it ends with 2 rabbits:

Do We Live in a Matrix?

Wow, I came across a bunch of new videos on the Matrix, and each one, all different authors, shared their message that they believe we are in a matrix and we need to wake up. One even described the purpose of waking up (you will find it in the comments) and it fits exactly what Robert Scheinfeld has discovered as well.

I am not posting the actual video that contains the comments. The video is of a television set and how it "grows" both horizontally and then vertically, and the scene on the T.V. readjusts itself to the new shape. It's too long and when I saw it the first time, I was bored. However, this time I advanced through and saw some written messages and this is the first one:

Modern life has built in safeguards to prevent us from remembering who we truly are. This is the real meaning behind 2012.

Comments: Then I read the comments at the bottom of this video:

Today I discovered how to tap into the reality matrix that dictates the arrangement of Light into matter. Yes.
Light. EVERYTHING is made of Light.
Light is Information.
Dark is lack of information.
(Hence the old adage, knowledge is power, and Let there be Light)

Once you can successfully attune your vibrations like I have. You can do ANYTHING. I have successfully figured out every "super power" except flight and teleportation.

This list includes levitation, molecular body regeneration, muscular shape shifting, access to varying time potentialities (parallel realities), magnetism, weather control.The trick to all of these things though is perfect moral turpitude and living in Love.

Its a lot harder than it sounds.  Not many people have done this in history. The few that have are called Avatars. This lists includes Budda,and Jesus among others.

For the first time in thousands of years, ALL of humanity has access to these abilities now as we enter the photon belt. 2012 is NOT the end of the world. It's the beginning of your OWN private reality that you can co-create as you see fit.

In his recent analysis of the Universe, Stephen Hawkings said that the final solution to the mystery would be understandable and applicable to all men. The actual crossing of this ultimate frontier would be made by Theophysics and Metaphysics.

The trick is to win this "prize." You must end your world. You must...WAKE UP.

Stop living life like "society" has trained you. Stop watching TV, reading the newspaper, being influenced by ANYTHING outside of yourself. Stop eating processed foods that are DESIGNED to keep you vibrating low. Stop using fluoride, which helps to promote calcification of your pineal gland. Stand in YOUR truth. LIVE IN LOVE.

ANY fear or doubt WHATSOEVER will surely block your path.

Any reoccurring obstacles of situations you find yourself in is a message of an INTERNAL issue you must deal with, resolve, and bring to the surface of YOURSELF to bypass and move on in your spiritual evolution.

More info on the REAL rules of reality...
Montalk.net and any book by David Icke.

Cause and Effect in Darlene's Hologram

Darlene's Body Game has taken up decades of her life already, so patterns are deeply entrenched.  Here she shares her insights into cause and effect:

I reread for the zillionth time that in order to bust loose you have to shift attention away from your creations and set it squarely on You the Creator and the True Creative Process. Ooooh. You mean even this fatigue? Like...seriously?

For more than 20 years I’ve been chasing the cause...trying to catch the mechanical rabbit. What would it mean to me to totally and completely stop chasing the myth of Cause & Effect?

I also read again for the umpteenth time where Robert says “Since you create your own playing field, rules and regulations as you play the Human Game, you also create your own consequences (if I do X I experience Y result) to enhance the illusions you create. You then reward and punish yourself by putting reward and punishment patterns in the Field, adding power to them and popping them into your hologram so they appear real. Then you strengthen those illusions – especially the illusion of cause and effect – within the hologram. It’s really quite a brilliant and extraordinary creation.”

As she experiments with true Cause, which is in the Field of pure potential, she has been able a few times to see right through the illusions of the pain and of the cause of the pain. She spends her time now reclaiming all that amazing power that was hidden away that can now be used to play a whole different body game.

I'm looking forward to the next clips of her movie.

Arthur Young on Cause and Effect

As I re listened to David Bohm's clip on Perception, I didn't hear him address the subject of Cause and Effect!  Yet I heard it plainly before.  So either I included a different video or I heard something else.  I was going to type, "Either I included the wrong video or I heard wrong."  Interesting how so much of our descriptions about things are about right and wrong.

Anyway, his thoughts on perception still give an insight into why there is no cause and effect in the hologram.  There is really only a perception of what appears to be cause and effect.  Viewed from different angles and with different knowledge and emotion, other explanations for the cause of a thing would spring forth.

My son was reminding me of how the stock market works.  There is no science behind what controls the price of stock.  It is all based on emotion.  A tragic news story can fuel fear which can either drop or spike stock prices.  An event that makes people feel safe or happy can cause a rise or fall in a stock price.  That is why no one has invented a system or software program that can predict with complete accuracy what the stock market will do.   It is also easy to see how we can be maniuplated by the stories that the news decides to carry and the partiuclar way the story is slanted.  A "cause" is suggested, and then THE effect is shown.  But it is simply one view.

As Bohm discoverd, every view is limited.  Even our thoughts are appearances.....what appears to be true to the mind when viewed through a particular mirror.  And  when a particular view, theory, cause, or object is seen at a closer angle, it is not solid at all, and the deeper scientists go, there ends up being nothing - NO thing at all....simply the Field of ALL possibilities.

Cause and Effect is all made up - a story we tell.  And when we hear a certain story enough, we believe it as a truth.

In the end, there is only One cause and that is Conscousness Itself.  Consciousness decides what gets popped into the hologram.  And when viewed from another angle, cause and effect is actually reversed.  The effect of a thing is actually Consciousness and we put a story of "cause" to it.

When I went to find the other David Bohm clip on cause and effect, I realized that it was a man named Arthur Young who I had heard.  Here is his insight:

David Bohm: Perception

I came across this video of David Bohm when researching the subject of Cause and Effect.  I was thrilled to finally see and hear him speak after hearing so much about him. 

This video is a little hard to follow, but as I continued listening, I got a real insight into why there is no cause and effect in the hologram.

I was also going to share the insight that flashed as I watched, however, my brain is too tired to put words to it right now.  And I want to dedicate more space to what Darlene has come up with.

And now.....David Bohm:

Genesis 1:2

After reading that I had no idea what Genesis 1:2 meant, my friend Darlene gave me the best explanation that I've heard. In fact, when I heard it, I said, "Of course"!

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. Genesis 1:2

So here is the explanation I got from her:

This is what it means to me. This to me is talking about the Field of infinite potential. Unless Consciousness, God, focuses with intention and collapses a wave thereby creating something, the screen is blank...”without form and void”. There is nothing there unless I put it there. Consciousness moves over the “face of the waters” and decides intentionally to put something there to experience.

Darlene shared further about her insight into Cause and Effect and she asked me to share my insights in future blogs.  Well, I got researching right away and had a wonderful time listening to David Bohm explain it from his perspective..  I'll share Darlene's, David's amd mine tomorrow.

Could This World be a Matrix?

The following quote is to answer a question someone asked on a forum: "Could this world be a matrix?"

Most human entities spend their "waking" lives hypnotized by their sensory world, which gives them the illusion of a material reality "out there."

In reality, space and time are really nonexistent both at the level of Pure Aware Consciousness, and also at the level of the unaware "blind parts" that experience for It the illusion of creative thought within an illusory space/time construct called Creation.
Mankind rarely realizes that life is but a sensory illusion that gives experience and learning to Thought, and that the only reality is Thought Itself, which is forever evolving.

Consciousness can be defined as Awareness projected onto a vibratory Dream. Period. For Space/Time Creation it is but pure Dark lesser vibratory (conscious and subconscious) thought interacting more or less intensely with the inner Holographic Light/Thought Reality originating through the facets of The MATRIX ("Deep" of Genesis 1: 2).

Genesis 1:2 in the King James Bible says:

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

All the years I thought I understood it, and now I don't have a foggy clue what that scripture means!

Stroke of Insight

As I prepared links in my book: Real or Not Real, That is the Question, I got a chance to see another video clip of Jill Bolte Taylor describe her "Stroke of Insight". It ends too soon, but I heard details that reminded me again of Who I Am and where I've come from to play this amazing Human Game.

Seeing Beauty

I read this quote a few days ago from Neale Donald Walsch and decided to save it because something about it "twigged" with me. I think it is the last line. In the hologram, we canot see our own face except in a mirror. Others become the mirror with which we see the beauty in ourselves, perhaps because we first noticed beauty in them.

I don't know about that anymore...but what I do know is that today, I got an hour long phone call from a man who took many opportunities to tell me how amazing and beautiful and rare I am - the fairest in the land!

And wow, did these words make my day or what. It sure is nice to be on the receiving end, and yes, it did exactly as Neale said it would. It helped me to feel my grandest version of myself and it unleashed a lot of appreciation for this actor. 

Today is also the birthday of another actor who played a big part in my movie. I always wanted him to see himself as wonderful and amazing, but each time I said it, it made him uncomfortable and he often denied it. After awhile, I saw him as he saw himself. Then the time came when the radiance I had seen in myself began to fade too. The light went out in my eyes.

So while I do not need another to make me feel beautiful, (as there is no one else out there - all are reflections of the One), this hologram has been designed as a place of contrasts, and it sure feels wonderful when others see me in my best light.

So my birthday wish is that you remember WHO you are, as I seemed to reflect who you were not!

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...

...that to find beauty in everyone you must see beauty in everyone, then announce that you see it, for in announcing it, you place it there in their reality.

Do not miss a single chance -- not one single opportunity -- to tell someone how wonderful they are, how special they are, how important to you they are, how incredible as a person they are, how beautiful they are inside and out. Do not miss a single opening in which to insert such a comment, genuinely felt and genuinely meant.

Make it your life's mission today to bring to the attention of another just how extraordinary they are. Say it. Say it. SAY it. Their heart is waiting to know that their own best thought about themselves can be believed.

My Mini Book

I am having a most awesome experience right now, and have been all weekend. I'm getting my manuscript for my mini book ready to hand in tomorrow. I cannot remember a time that I have felt more fulfilled, other than the birth of each of my children.

The scented candles are glowing in my room and I alternate with beautiful music and silence. I'm connecting with my Muse and loving the experience of "channeling" the thoughts into words.

The message of this book is about what I've written here for the past 7 months: that life is like an elaborate maze, or hologram where we get to play the Human Game - which is where I limited my Unlimitedness so I could experience myself as opposite of Who I Am.

It is the grandest adventure I've ever been on and I express appreciation to my Expanded Self who designed every detail in my illusion so perfectly.

And today, I expressed appreciation to the great actor who plays my first born son in my full movie immersion experience. I cried as I thanked him for providing the space for me to experience so much happiness and fulfillment.

De-Pixelated

A few days ago, I discovered another anomaly that Kent saw in his travels awhile back. He saw a car on the side of the road, and as he got closer, it changed views from the picture of a car to the many pixels that make up the picture of a car. Then he watched it disappear one pixel at a time!

What is extroidinary to me is that Kent is a guy who supports my daughter on her journey to awaken from illusions, yet is not on that journey himself- at least, he has not announced it.

He has experienced quite a bit of weird stuff just by hearing someone suggest this earth is holographic in nature.

I want to say, "Not Fair"! I want to see through the illusions like that, which just shows me how much I still want "proof" through my senses.

Which is probably why I created an actor named Kent to share his experience with me!!!

Children

My youngest son is just like me - spirited and an "in your face" kind of guy. After not having him close in my life for a few years, I created him not being in my life at all for the last two. And that was never how I saw my script being written. I've loved having close relationships with my kids and they with each other.

A month before discovering that this life was all illusions of my own creation, I had my biggest rift with him. I was so glad that I did nothing but wait, as I discovered I had written the whole script and it was BY me and FOR me and there was nobody else in the room but me. He was simply acting the part of my son in this movie of mine. I laughed with joy. There was NO rift after all. It was all a figment of my imagination - and the discomfort and pain I felt was my huge blessing for discovering where I hid quite a bit of power.

At one point, in my pain, I remember thinking for the first time that perhaps I would write him out of the script, seeing as he didn't seem to want to be in my movie anymore. I've never thought that before, and I didn't feel guilty for it - which was quite amazing to realize, when my whole world has been my kids and grandkids.

Not long after, he came over and we had the first of many "healing" talks.
Then things got pleasant, then fun between us. Yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks, "I did rewrite the script. The angry, distant actor son was replaced by the open, fun son. I was amazed at how quickly I was playing a whole new game with him.

Then today we had a fight! It started out so "good", and then I got the old script again. What was really weird is that we were talking about regaining power from a "bully" and being able to say "Stop" when all of a sudden, I felt judged and then attacked. It happened so fast. I felt myself begin to shrink and then I stopped, turned around a said, "Stop"...and I held up my hands. He didn't stop so I gave him a volley of words about how I felt. Rather than stopping and validating that, he got up and left the room. I had flashbacks of similar memories with my ex partner - only he didn't give me the gift of leaving the room so that we both could have the space and silence we needed from each other.

This time I re-read parts of Scheinfeld's book as I did the process. I read about how we play the game with our old rules....and then I saw it. I have lots of rules when it comes to "the order" of how a conversation should go, especially when there is a glitch. When someone is sharing their hurt with me and "telling me off", I let them have their say without interrupting and, even though it hurts, I appreciate the courage it took and let them know.

I want this same treatment and respect back. I have asked for it, fought for it, stood on my head for it, and here I was again facing this same thing. The "realness" of it faded. I began to smile. It wasn't that my rule was wrong, or that I couldn't have this desire. It was that I made the relationship real and the conversation real and the hurt real, therefore, order and respect and validation was needed.....and the other person HAD to understand that.

I took my power back and expressed great appreciation for this great actor who knows just what buttons to push and for acting so convincingly. Then I went to work and got most of the frustration out of my body. Normally, I would have gone to try to talk about it. But I wasn't inspired to do that. So after work, I came home to watch a movie before I was to babysit my granddaughter.

When the knock came, I assumed it was her, jumped up, opened the door and said, "Hi Honey", and it was my son. I smiled, went up to him and gave him a big hug. He said, "My comments were not invited, therefore, not called for" and I responded with, "Thank you. That means a lot to me." And then I invited him to stay for the rest of the movie.

I knew it would work out because now I was aware that it wasn't real and therefore, no problem even existed.

So he gets to keep the part of my son and I'm so lucky that he still wants me to play the part of his Mom.

Changes

With my former beliefs about God,and how life worked, when I wanted change I prayed, fasted, treated, lined up my vibration, got insights from numerology, read every book on the subject, attended lots of seminars and spent lots of time and effort.

After a year and a half of looking at this life totally different, I was wondering a few days ago if any changes have happened. Because I don't process or do anything to make a change anymore, I often don't notice what's happening on the outside.

But I am fully aware of what is happening on the inside! I wrote my friend about this:

Though I have not seen major changes in my hologram, the FEELING of awareness that it is all illusion is growing. I think of things that sent a scare wave through me before like my car being taken away as a small example, and there is a knowing that my car is a prop holding up a bunch of scenes with banks, government, finances. There is no fear anymore that it may disappear and no more feeling of being irresponsible.

That is a small example. The big examples are the ones I feel but cannot quite articulate.

My friend sent this reply:

I echo your thoughts about nothing major changing in your hologram but the FEELING of awareness is growing. That is exactly what is happening with me. Since what is happening is coming from Consciousness, then this is exactly what has to happen first before we can see any changes. Long before we actually see any changes we have to feel it.

I'm feeling it and loving it.

The Universe Lies Too

Even The Universe is making up crazy stories about me.....
Shows we all love a good story, even when it's not true...

Do you know what you've been doing lately in your nightly dreams, Marilyn?

No, no. Not the "naked hula hoop" dreams - are you kidding?! I'd never put those in print!

You've been reaching, helping, and bridging; teaching, guiding, and comforting; lighting, showing, and paving; reaching thousands upon thousands when you count the infinite ripple thing.
Yep, you're beginning to have the same profound effect here, as you've been having on Earth.

Thanks,
The Universe

And of course, none of our stories are true. The stories are a way for us to FEEL the full spectrum of emotion which give clues for the ultimate Hide and Seek game.....
Now where did I hide that hoola hoop?

Spinning and Swirling

Last night I awoke with that sense that something was wrong.  When a panic attack hits in the night, the adrenaline is surging before I have a chance to stop it.  My eyeballs popped open, my heart was racing and as I got up, it felt as if my legs would not carry me.

This time, I began the process of telling the Truth  (that this was not real, but simply an illusion that was reminding me to wake up) at the same time as I did the things that help calm me - drinking water, deep breathing, getting warm (as my body begins to shake with the stress) and taking some magnesium.  I could feel the surge want to ride to the top and spill over into a full attack (like I'm about to have a seizure). 

After the first wave passed, I decided to lay back down.  Normally, I have to pace.  Between two after shocks, I dove into the feelings and this time, I did not feel the panic get worse.  I really noticed my legs, which were going through a spinning, swirling sensation, giving me a feeling of floating, which is why I didn't know if they would hold me up.  All of a sudden, I remember what Jill Bolte Taylor said of her stroke when the left brain began to shut down programs.  Her body lost the dense feeling and became fluid.  Amazingly, I didn't immediately equate that thought with me having a stroke, rather, I felt intrigued.

I decided to do something very different.  I decided to enjoy this feeling of floating and I closed my eyes and leaned forward on my bed under a cozy blanket.  Then I almost fell asleep!   Usually, it's hours before I can sleep again.  There were no more after shocks and my body was completely calm.

My last thought was, "So this is what the illusionary body feels like.  Perhaps it hasn't been panic after all....perhaps it's been my body showing me what it feels like when it's returning to the All that Is, and I've just mistaken it for something scary."

I awoke this morning with such a deep feeling of appreciation for experiencing this and for the new insight into my holographic body.

Jeddah Mali

This interview with Jeddah Mali is mesmerizing to me. I felt like I was in the presence of Greatness - amazing grace, wisdom, knowledge and serenity. My friend Donna sent me this link and I will listen to it many times.

I tried to find the interview on Youtube so I could copy the embedded code for you, but I could not find this particular clip. So here is the link:

(All these things I've just mentioned are virtual reality, and just over a decade ago, did not exist in our hologram. Imagine a world without email, internet or Google. I remember being blown away by being able to have a street address and a virtual address that only existed in energy. It is still mind boggling to me).


http://www.ordinaryenlightenment.com/Jeddah.html

Prince Charming's Disguise

According to the Busting Loose model, discomfort or pain of any kind is what gives us the opportunity to wake up.

The other night I was feeling some discomfort and I realized that my insides were squirming....squirming to get away from the feeling. It's not only the natural thing to do, it's almost automatic.

It is designed that way to get our attention. One we retrain ourselves about the purpose of suffering and pain, we realize that there is another option. Follow that feeling and find out the power hidden deep down.

Without feelings that make us writhe, wrestle, wriggle, worm or squirm, we would have realized the Truth about this world much sooner, which would have made the game too easy!

Conversly, without that inside out discomfort, we may have never asked the questions that would lead us to the truth and we might stay asleep for 100 lifetimes!

Prince Charming has come to kiss us awake....only he is disguised as a frog!

Inception...Again

A friend treated my daughter and I to the movie, Inception tonight. This was my second time and it was as wild a ride as the first. In fact, I missed so many pieces the first time, I found myself thinking a number of times, "Oh that's how it happened"!

When we came out of the theatre, I was quite disoriented. It was like I just waking up in a different room and had to remember what day it was and whose house I slept at. The hall of the theatre looked so different and all of a sudden Teresa said, "Those stairs were not there when we came in." She didn't know it, but I didn't see any stairs at all! All I said was, "Man, I feel like I'm in a dream". Both my friend and Teresa agreed.

Outside, it felt different. When we went into the theatre, it was warm and when we came out, it was like winter was just around the corner. I started up my car and drove to the exit, only I hit a dead end. Now at this point, you have to know the movie is about getting lost in elaborate dream mazes. I said, "There's no road here, just a dead end - and as I said it I got excited, "JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIE". Teresa said, "Oh my - turn right. And I did and there was a little road, that led to a more main road, but both had stuff in the way which we had to drive around.

Ellen Page was one of the actors in the movie who was the architect for building the dreams. My daughter began to talk about how I had constructed a maze and when I looked at her, she looked exactly like Ellen Page. It was uncanny.

All the way home we talked about how we could feel, sometimes see that our waking dream (the state we have believed is our real world) is crumbling - just like in the movie. Many little happenings that aren't "normal" to what our past world felt like are happening. But then we throw in some more convincing details that make it all look real again, and then we forget.

So what wakes us up?
I had a terrific insight about that this morning that I would like to share in my next post.

Here is a different trailer than the one I posted last time:

I had a fantastic day writing my mini book. The words spilled off my fingers and took me in a different direction than I had expected. I love it when that happens, as I know I've connected with my Inner Muse.

My message is about the "waking up" and "busting loose" process. Some of the course leaders believe in the Law of Attraction, and I explain why I had to leave that thinking and belief behind. It gave me a slight nervous feeling, wondering what they would think of me.

As I finished the first chapter, I opened my email and there was a letter from Neale Donald Walsch, who is actually promoting this course. His words calmed me and validated my message, even though I had not asked or expected this.

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...

...that happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meandering, but leads none of us by the same route.

Charles Caleb Colton said that, and he was right. Therefore, since there is no One Way to find happiness, why not find it the way that appeals most to you? Why not follow your passion - even if others tell you that you are crazy for trying it?

Is someone telling you that now? Don't listen. Don't listen to that! The voice of caution knows nothing of real joy. What joy is there is doing what there was no doubt you could do? Where's the excitement in that? Hey, try something that you could fail at. Now that's living.

The Way

Neale Donald Walsch has captured the spirit of adventure in the quote below. He is another one that knows we are in a maze of illusions, and the way through is by doing what you are inspired to do:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...
...that happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meandering, but leads none of us bythe same route.

Charles Caleb Colton said that, and he was right. Therefore, since there is no One Way to find happiness, why not find it the way that appeals most to you? Why not follow your passion --- even if others tell you that you are crazy for trying it?

Is someone telling you that now? Don't listen. Don't listen to that! The voice of caution knows nothing of real joy. What joy is there is doing what there was no doubt you could do? Where's the excitement in that? Hey, try something that you could fail at. Now that's living.

Bob Newhart's Cure

My writing course posted this cute video with Bob Newhart who plays a psychiatrist who has a two word cure for every problem.

How many addictions and afflictions we have suffered because we told a story about it, over and over again. Perhaps this cure would be helpful for busting loose from the problems we have fabricated:

Corn Maze

Saturday, Ryan, Olivia and I went to the Edmonton Corn Maze. Acres of paths through very tall corn. There are a few clues to lead you to the next post, and a neat IPhone Application to give the game a new feel, but other than that, you still get lost in loops before circling back to the "right" path.

It was very interesting for me as I was aware the whole time that this is what the Human Game feels like. It was funny, because both Ryan and I were irritated that too many people were in the maze and that some brought their dogs, which really added the stress for me.

Fascinating was that the maze was divided into two parts. On a sign board outside it actually said, "Phase 1 and Phase 2". Wow, all the amazing clues I left for myself.

After doing quite well and then getting lost, Ryan began to get anxious. He voiced his frustration and mumbled something about this not being fun anymore now that we were lost. Olivia immediately responded: "Daddy, that's the point. You are supposed to get lost. It's a maze!"

The voice of God coming from the 4 year old. She knew before she entered that we were "supposed" to get lost. He chuckled and then had an idea. He pulled out his Iphone and pulled up the arial view of the maze and he saw where we were and the quickest way out. He breathed a big sigh of relief. I wanted to play Phase 2 of the game, but he had had enough!

It was such a neat experience to be immersed in 10 foot high corn and not being able to see where the next turn led. I could also feel some anxiety about wandering for hours before finding our way out. So it was a perfect simulation within my simulation to describe this awesome game I am now playing on a much grander scale.

Then today, I got this letter from Mike Dooley:

I know you already know this, but Marilyn, the only way one can find their way is to first be lost. To make it big, start out small. To fall in love, first feel none. Yet, when such wishes are granted and the dreamers suddenly find themselves lost, small, and alone, you should hear the "expletives"!

So, look at it like this: Any such feelings are simply a sign that you've made a really, really big and daring "wish," and that its manifestation has already begun.

Foxy, clever, wry

The Universe

I don't quite agree with what he says the feelings mean. I would change it to, "Any such feelings are simply clues you've left yourself to remind you of where you hid your power, so that you can play a really, really big and daring part in your game."

Video on Holographic Matrix System

David Icke has been teaching about taking our power back from beliefs and illusions for over 30 years. I was fascinated by this particular message: