A New Adventure

So what is happening in my life to make me want to fall back asleep?

A MAN! Something happens when a man arrives on the scene. In the past, I lost whole chunks of myself. Old fears of inadequacy would surface and all my plans for me would go out the window as I focused on the man in my life. I made HIM the centre of my universe, instead of myself.

I'm thrilled that, for the first time, none of the above is happening. I've been able to stay detached from outcomes and be myself. Fears are bound to surface sometime, but the few I've felt, I've been able to voice right away.

But since this is my greatest area of past pain, it is the one place that I've hidden a lot of my power, so I'm very thankful for my hand and arm falling asleep. as it gave me a heads up to stay very alert and awake during this one.

I forgot to mention, that the fingers of my left hand fell so deeply asleep, that I could not feel where they ended. I got a brief feeling of what Jill Bolte Taylor experienced with her body feeling fluid. (As I think of it now, it could also mean that the temptation is to lose touch with myself)!!!

It will be very interesting to see what happens next. Have I pulled enough power from this gigantic egg of mine to be able to play and have fun, or will I plunge into some drama again? The drama isn't wrong - it's just that I get lost in the character role instead of remembering who I really am.

But I'm quite confident that it won't happen this time. I've surrounded myself with Phase 2 actors in my hologram who are sure to remind me. Plus old pain will surely get triggered and send off a loud signal. I can't imagine staying asleep through that!

A new adventure awaits......